My wife has never attempted to open a jar of pickles in her life. WHY WOULD SHE?! Her father handed the sacred honor of pickle jar opening to me. 🥳


My wife always knows to ask me for a pocket knife, just as she always knows I'm carrying a pistol when we leave the house.

I've heard her tell people she works with how convenient it is to be married to a *man* who is prepared with basic tools.

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